Tomorrow, depressingly, sees the final Bank Holiday before Christmas and it also signals the end of the 70th Edinburgh Festival. Each year Edinburgh is taken over by an explosion of arts and culture, with people flocking to the city from all around the world. There are over fifty thousand performances at over three thousand shows in nearly three hundred different venues. Over the last ten years, TV comedy channel, Dave, has sponsored the award for the funniest joke at the Festival. A panel of comedy critics and reviewers select a shortlist of one-liners; then 2,000 British people vote on which was the funniest. The comedians' names are left out, to keep celebrity from overshadowing. Recent winning gags have included “I decided to sell my Hoover... well, it was just collecting dust," and "I just deleted all the German names off my phone. It's Hans free". This year the prize winning joke was the simple one-liner from Ken Cheng: “I’m not a fan of the new pound coin, but then again, I hate all change.” Fair enough but The Weekly’s favourite is “Combine Harvesters. And you’ll have a really big restaurant.” Boom boom!

Last week, as part of their ongoing efforts to regulate overseas investments by Chinese companies, China’s State Council published a set of investment guidelines which provide the most clarity on outbound investments since late 2016 when they first started clamping down on so-called “irrational” or “non-genuine” investments. The new guidelines classify overseas investments into three main categories – ‘encouraged investments’, ‘restricted investments’ and ‘prohibited investments’. Real estate now sits in the restricted bracket, alongside investments in hotels, film studios, entertainment and sports clubs. So what impact might this have on the UK property market? On the one hand, if the previous measures implemented by the Chinese authorities are anything to go by, the impact could be pretty material. According to Real Capital Analytics, over the last twelve months buyers from mainland China invested almost half what they did in the previous year in London properties. The counter argument though is that whilst the Asia region currently leads on investment into London, Chinese buyers comprise only 1% of volumes so far this year. Perhaps the more relevant question is whether these tighter controls will filter through and impact on Hong Kong investors, given they have made up 31% of this year’s market?

Rockall, Malin, German Bight, Lundy, South Utsire. South-easterly four or five, occasionally six at first, mainly fair, good. The aforementioned is not the proof you were looking for that The Weekly has finally lost the plot after one hundred and eighty-one editions, but rather it’s our homage to the Shipping Forecast which celebrated 150 years of uninterrupted service on Thursday. The forecast is the longest continuous weather forecast ever made, having been a public service since 1867 when it was used to warn of storms. It is 93% accurate overall, with the forecast for inshore waters about 97% accurate. Every six hours a weather forecaster at the Met Office sits down to write a very precise script. To make the forecast, reams of meteorological data are compressed into just 380 words. That’s all they are allowed. The Shipping Forecast is transmitted four times a day and serves as punctuation for the BBC Radio 4 schedule. Whilst its importance for sailors is unquestionable, what about for the listenership that is far larger than just those at sea who need a weather update? The 00:48 broadcast is perhaps there to ensure they get to sleep. And the 05:20 broadcast? The Weekly defies anyone to set their alarm to the Shipping Forecast and still get up!

 

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